she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
