So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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