i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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