Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He better not be in your backpack
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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