the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
