You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
