I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
