the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
