I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We have started to decorate penises.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
