that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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