tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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