What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
