the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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