Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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