you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
