Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
