Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had to cum in my sink.
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