i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
