Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
