he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
