Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
