he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
