I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
