A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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