got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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