just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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