I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
