I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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