theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
