I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
