K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
