wat bout pragnant strippers??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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