somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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