that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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