After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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