I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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