the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
