its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
