Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
