my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize