Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
