I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
