my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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