Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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