so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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