I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
