I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
smell my finger.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
