Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
