So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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