Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
