4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
