her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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