remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
