Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
40s are totally the cure
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
