He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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