is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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