Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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