so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
