I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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