It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
