Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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