My first STD was from a foam party
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
